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They Live On

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In search of my mother's garden, I found my own. Alice Walker

The actor Sean Connery received a Lifetime Achievement Award in 2007 for his contributions to film. He was almost 80 years-old at the time. Connery accepted the award with his usual humor and dignity, but I will never forget what he said at the end. To paraphrase, he thanked his deceased parents and wished that they could be present for his award ceremony. He said that his parents’ memory continued to enrich his life and that he thought about them every day. He finished by telling the audience that he loved his parents, missed them and looked forward to seeing them again.

I listened to his acceptance speech and I thought if Agent 007 could publicly proclaim his continuing love for his parents then I could, too. He gave me permission (although I know now I don’t need permission) to say I love you, Mom and Dad. I miss you both and I always will. Perhaps then the greatest gift of grief
 is carrying my parents in my heart—not as two people fixed in time or memory, but as individuals who continue to inform me and enrich my life in ways I cannot yet imagine.

As I have written in other places on this web site, I have a love-hate relationship with saccharine poetry and prose. The works of Helen Steiner Rice get on my nerves. When it comes to grief, I’m just not that evolved. Over time, and to my surprise, cards, prose and poems that used to rankle me now offer comfort. There is an odd sort of consolation (and hope) thinking about my parents waiting for me to come Home.
Here is one such excerpt from a May 1910 sermon given at Saint Paul's Cathedral, London, by Canon Henry Scott Holland (1847-1918):

"...I have only slipped away into the next room...Whatever we were to each other, that we are still. Call me by the old familiar name...Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner. All is well..."  

I’ll end this section with a verse from one of the sympathy cards that didn’t console me much when Mom died, but holds a world of hope and promise for me now:

Although you will miss her
And mourn that she’s gone,
May this thought bring you peace—
That in you she lives on.

Go to next page: Preparing to Live: A Meditation on Death


 
  December 2017
 

 
Remember Honor Teach
Patriot Par: Give a wreath, donate a wreath
wreathsacrossamerica.org

 


 

Why can’t I find a page or link that used to be here?

Over the last nine years, The Grieving Heart® meandered into many topics and lost its purpose. I have deleted 40 pages to bring it back to the original focus of grief and helping grievers.

Web addresses come and go and I cannot guarantee the accuracy, safety or longevity of third-party (external) sites. Adding links by request, or finding and fixing broken links are massive time consumers, so I have deleted many outside sources and will limit additions in the future. The external links that remain are checked on a regular basis and related to grief, helping grievers and pet loss. 

I will continue to honor and remember veterans and fallen soldiers because it is the least I can do for those who have given so much.

I hope that my renewed attention to grief information will make The Grieving Heart® a better experience and comfort for you. Thank you for visiting. CJ

 


 

 My E-mail:

Christine@thegrievingheart.info 

A Word About E-mail: One way to decrease SPAM e-mail caused by Internet bots is to deactivate the live address link. You can still contact me by copying and pasting this address into your own e-mail program. Thank you.

 
Note to Visitors:
 
I read and respond to grief email at the end of each month when I update this site. If you need a more timely response, please visit a well moderated grief healing discussion group. It is free to use and requires registration to participate. I am not part of this group, but certified grief counselors are there to help, support and comfort grievers and those who love them. Because the counselors lost funding for the site, they are grateful for voluntary donations.
 
 
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How complicated and individual mending is, the time required for healing
cannot be measured against any fixed calendar
. Mary Jane Moffat
 
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