It has been said that we are not truly prepared to live until we are prepared to die. Life assumes a greater
meaning and purpose when we fully appreciate the fact we are going to die. Our death is real and will be marked by a specific
day on the calendar. All the days leading up to that one assume a special significance. Time passes so quickly.
It is hard, if not impossible, to comprehend the end of our existence as we know it. To the extent that we can, it helps
us to appreciate life and living all the more. A life review can help us make peace with our lives as we have lived them.
Once we make peace with our lives--yes, I've made mistakes, but I've done as well as I can--then we are able to
make changes in our lives. It is also helpful to understand how our attitudes towards death and loss shape our significant
The purpose of this meditation is to become aware of your own mortality and the mortality of those
you love. When you are able to accept your own death, and the deaths of your loved ones, as inevitable, you gain a broader
perspective of your life direction and the choices you are now making. Priorities become clearer and change is easier to make.
The death meditation will not ease the pain of loss. Grief is an expression of your love for the one who has died.
The meditation will, however, assist you in acknowledging death as a part of life. As you do this, you prepare to make the
most of the time you have left. You prepare to live.
Find a quiet space. Play gentle music if this comforts you.
Concentrate on slow deep breathing as you relax and let go. It may help to look at a picture of yourself, or your loved one,
as you meditate. You can also use any symbol that is meaningful to you as a focal point for the death meditation.
Breathe deeply as you contemplate the questions. Let your responses flow. Allow thoughts to come and go, as they will. Images
may appear in your mind's eye. Record your responses in a journal or on tape for later review.
Think about your
own death as you meditate. To get you started, answer the following questions: What does dying mean to you? Are you afraid
to die? How long do you expect to live? What do you most want to accomplish with your life? What is the one thing you wish
you could do before you die that you have not yet done? If you believe in heaven, what do you want St. Peter to say to you
when you get to the Pearly Gates?
Pretend you are writing your own obituary. Let your whole life pass before you.
How do you want to be remembered? What are your accomplishments? What gives your life real meaning and purpose? Do you have
regrets? What are they? Who are the most important people in your life? What will your loved ones say about you at your funeral?
What do you want them to say?
What has been the most significant death in your own life? Describe your
life before and after the death of your loved one. How has the death of your loved one changed you?
If you have
not yet experienced the death of a close friend or loved one, anticipate how you would feel if a significant person in your
life dies tomorrow. What do you dread or fear most about this death? How would you behave differently today if you knew the
person you most loved were to die tomorrow? What would you say to him or her? Imagine what he or she might say back to you.
When we prepare to live with the full knowledge that we will die, we stop
taking life and the people we love for granted. Our own lives, and our significant relationships, become authentic. Review
your responses to the meditation at a later date. Has anything changed?
can’t I find a page or link that used to be here?
Over the last eleven years, The Grieving
meandered into many topics and lost its purpose. I have deleted 40 pages to bring it back to the original focus of grief
and helping grievers.
Web addresses come and go and I cannot guarantee the accuracy, safety or longevity of third-party (external) sites.
Adding links by request, or finding and fixing broken links are massive time consumers, so I have deleted many outside sources
and will limit additions in the future. The external links that remain are checked on a regular basis and related to
grief, helping grievers and pet loss.
will continue to honor and remember veterans and fallen soldiers because it is the least I can do for those who have
given so much.
I hope that my renewed attention
to grief information will make The Grieving Heart® a better experience and comfort for you. Thank you for visiting. CJ
Christine at The Grieving
Heart dot info
About E-mail: One way to decrease SPAM caused by Internet
bots is to deactivate the live address link. You can still contact me by typing this address into your
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Note to Visitors:
I read and
respond to grief email at the end of each month when I update this site. If you need a more timely response, please visit
a well moderated grief healing discussion group. It is free to use and requires registration to participate. I am not part of this group, but certified
grief counselors are there to help, support and comfort grievers and those who love them. Because the
counselors lost funding for the site, they are grateful for voluntary donations.
Why no links to Facebook and other social media? Click here for the answer.
How complicated and individual mending is,
the time required for healing
cannot be measured against any fixed calendar.
Mary Jane Moffat
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