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Wondering Through the Wintry World of Loss

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It Isn't Easy

As we wander through the wintry world of loss, we doubt we will survive the month of December. We will get through it, but it won’t be easy. We may find unexpected comfort if we talk about our grief with others who are also feeling loss. Online grief support groups offer a safe way to express the strong emotions of grief.
 
New grief makes us fragile and we are never more fragile, or human, than in the last few frantic days before Christmas. The need to be happy bears down. The pathos of the season overwhelms us. For grievers left with only their memories, Christmas is a time of loneliness and isolation.

We can express the deeper meaning of the season by reaching out to those in need who are also struggling—the poor, the homeless, the sick, and the hungry. As we embrace other lonely people, we remember the reward: giving feels good. We would never have chosen this reward of giving in exchange for our loved one. Not ever. But if we are able to extend a helping hand, and someone takes hold of it, we are not alone anymore.

After a while we may learn that the cherished holiday memory of our loved one, once so painful, now eases the sharp edges of grief and spreads its arms to comfort us, but this will take time. Until then, how do we grieve while those around us are making merry?

One way is to stop and honor the one who has died. My mother once told me that she hoped I would “miss her a little” when she died, or her life would have been in vain. I miss you a lot, Mom!

During the first holiday season after Mom's death, my sister and I hosted a December luncheon at my sister’s house in memory of our mother. We served her favorite Christmas foods on the Christmas china that she gave us. We invited special family and friends. It was comforting to take a break from all the traditional festivities and spend an afternoon reminiscing with those who loved her, too. 


Click Wrestling with Holiday Traditions for ideas that combine mourning with seasonal activities.


 

Go to next page: Getting Through December (Surviving the season)


 
  August 2017

 


 

Why can’t I find a page or link that used to be here?

Over the last nine years, The Grieving Heart® meandered into many topics and lost its purpose. I have deleted 40 pages to bring it back to the original focus of grief and helping grievers.

Web addresses come and go and I cannot guarantee the accuracy, safety or longevity of third-party (external) sites. Adding links by request, or finding and fixing broken links are massive time consumers, so I have deleted many outside sources and will limit additions in the future. The external links that remain are checked on a regular basis and related to grief, helping grievers and pet loss. 

I will continue to honor and remember veterans and fallen soldiers because it is the least I can do for those who have given so much.

I hope that my renewed attention to grief information will make The Grieving Heart® a better experience and comfort for you. Thank you for visiting. CJ

 


 

 My E-mail:

Christine@thegrievingheart.info 

A Word About E-mail: One way to decrease SPAM e-mail caused by Internet bots is to deactivate the live address link. You can still contact me by copying and pasting this address into your own e-mail program. Thank you.

 
Note to Visitors:
 
I read and respond to grief email at the end of each month when I update this site. If you need a more timely response, please visit a well moderated grief healing discussion group. It is free to use and requires registration to participate. I am not part of this group, but certified grief counselors are there to help, support and comfort grievers and those who love them. Because the counselors lost funding for the site, they are grateful for voluntary donations.
 
 
Why no links to Facebook and other social media? Click here for the answer.   
 
 

 
 
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How complicated and individual mending is, the time required for healing
cannot be measured against any fixed calendar
. Mary Jane Moffat
 
© Copyright 2008 - 2017 Christine Jette. All rights reserved.