A Word About Sympathy Cards


Syrupy-sweet sympathy cards with preprinted verses offend some grievers because the cards insult the bereaved rather than offer messages of comfort for the intense feelings of sadness. I must admit, the Helen Steiner Rice poetry gets on my nerves. When it comes to grief, I'm just not that evolved.

Looking back, I understand that people were trying to be supportive, and I am grateful for the attempts at kind remembrances of my mother. In the midst of new sorrow, however, it is hard to take the long view. At least it was for me.

When Mom died, I wanted to throw some of the saccharine cards against the wall. I would read one of the "uplifting" poems and think: I know I am supposed to be happy that Mom is in heaven now, but I am sad because she died. Doesn't anyone recognize my grief? I didn't like drippy cards telling me to rejoice because Mom was with God. I wanted her here with me.

You will search in vain for Hallmark sympathy cards that use the words death or died, yet that is exactly what had happened: the person who had shaped my life was now dead. Didn't anyone understand that? I most appreciated simple cards that acknowledged the pain of my loss.

My own experience with grief has made me more sensitive to the pain of others. I now give sympathy cards that carry brief messages of comfort without poetry. I also include a personal handwritten note
 and my own favorite verse or quote. I share a loving memory of the deceased if I knew the person well enough to have one. Do what feels right to you. You'll be on solid ground as long as your sentiments come from the heart.



Go to next page: Communication from the Heart

Why can’t I find a page or link that used to be here?

Over the last ten years, The Grieving Heart® meandered into many topics and lost its purpose. I have deleted 40 pages to bring it back to the original focus of grief and helping grievers.

Web addresses come and go and I cannot guarantee the accuracy, safety or longevity of third-party (external) sites. Adding links by request, or finding and fixing broken links are massive time consumers, so I have deleted many outside sources and will limit additions in the future. The external links that remain are checked on a regular basis and related to grief, helping grievers and pet loss. 

I will continue to honor and remember veterans and fallen soldiers because it is the least I can do for those who have given so much.

I hope that my renewed attention to grief information will make The Grieving Heart® a better experience and comfort for you. Thank you for visiting. CJ



 My E-mail:

Christine at The Grieving Heart dot info 

A Word About E-mail: One way to decrease SPAM caused by Internet bots is to deactivate the live address link. You can still contact me by typing this address into your own e-mail program using @, a period, and no spaces, the standard e-mail format. Thank you.

Note to Visitors:
I read and respond to grief email at the end of each month when I update this site. If you need a more timely response, please visit a well moderated grief healing discussion group. It is free to use and requires registration to participate. I am not part of this group, but certified grief counselors are there to help, support and comfort grievers and those who love them. Because the counselors lost funding for the site, they are grateful for voluntary donations.
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How complicated and individual mending is, the time required for healing
cannot be measured against any fixed calendar
. Mary Jane Moffat
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