Loving in Separation: Some Final Thoughts

Click on picture to go to a true story of redbirds.
The greatest tribute to the dead is not grief but gratitude. Thornton Wilder

I created The Grieving Heart® because of personal loss and my journey of grief is changing me in unexpected ways. I am learning that loving relationships continue long after the last breath. Death does not end my care and love for those who have gone before me, but transforms my love--even as my day-to-day life is forever changed by the loss.

I am learning to love in separation: I must let go, but not entirely. I do not need to break the loving bond with my dead parents, but I do need to redefine the nature of that bond. Rather than separating me from my parents, their deaths challenge me to maintain a meaningful connection to them.

My parents were not perfect but I know they did the very best they could with what they had. As I learn to move forward with my life, I want to embrace all that my parents meant to me--not as something fixed in time or memory, but as two people who retain the capacity to love me in ways I cannot yet imagine. I'll close with a poem:

I'm There Inside Your Heart
©2002 Abbey Press

Right now I'm in a different place,
And though we seem apart,
I'm closer than I ever was...
I'm there inside your heart.

I'm with you when you greet each day
And while the sun shines bright,
I'm there to share the sunsets, too...
I'm with you every night.

I'm with you when the times are good,
To share a laugh or two,
And if a tear should start to fall...
I'll still be there for you.

And when that day arrives
That we no longer are apart,
I'll smile and hold you close to me...
Forever in my heart.


Go to introduction of the next section: Grief Takes Turns (How to Help Grievers)

April 2019


Why can’t I find a page or link that used to be here?

Over the last eleven years, The Grieving Heart® meandered into many topics and lost its purpose. I have deleted 40 pages to bring it back to the original focus of grief and helping grievers.

Web addresses come and go and I cannot guarantee the accuracy, safety or longevity of third-party (external) sites. Adding links by request, or finding and fixing broken links are massive time consumers, so I have deleted many outside sources and will limit additions in the future. The external links that remain are checked on a regular basis and related to grief, helping grievers and pet loss. 

I will continue to honor and remember veterans and fallen soldiers because it is the least I can do for those who have given so much.

I hope that my renewed attention to grief information will make The Grieving Heart® a better experience and comfort for you. Thank you for visiting. CJ



 My E-mail:

Christine at The Grieving Heart dot info 

A Word About E-mail: One way to decrease SPAM caused by Internet bots is to deactivate the live address link. You can still contact me by typing this address into your own e-mail program using @, a period, and no spaces, the standard e-mail format. Thank you.

Note to Visitors:
I read and respond to grief email at the end of each month when I update this site. If you need a more timely response, please visit a well moderated grief healing discussion group. It is free to use and requires registration to participate. I am not part of this group, but certified grief counselors are there to help, support and comfort grievers and those who love them. Because the counselors lost funding for the site, they are grateful for voluntary donations.
Why no links to Facebook and other social media? Click here for the answer.   


How complicated and individual mending is,
the time required for healing
cannot be measured against any fixed calendar
Mary Jane Moffat
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