After the Shock

The day goes by like a shadow o'er the heart,
With sorrow, where all was delight.
Stephen Foster

Many people believe that the initial shock and numbness following the death of a loved one constitutes the entire grief process, but this is only the start. As the reality of the death sinks in, shock and disbelief give way to growing awareness. With awareness, the real pain of grieving begins.

As we allow ourselves the time and space to grieve, we gain perspective on the loss. Suppression of emotions may prolong grief in some, but not everyone heals through open expression of feelings. We each must find our own way to grieve. With time, we adapt to life without our loved one.

Immediately after the death of a loved one, however, it seems like nothing will make us feel better. Acute grief feels like it will last forever and will erode us with pain in the process. They say that time heals, but in the midst of grief, we wonder how it will ever become less intense.

This is why it is important to consider support from others we trust. People who care about us want to help us feel better, but they may be unsure of how to act or what to say. Attempts to help may or may not work. Click
All the Wrong Places for the risks of sharing the pain of grief with strangers.

For a look at the well-meaning, but unhelpful, comments people make to the newly bereaved, visit
Good Intentions, Unhelpful Remarks.

Emotional, spiritual and physical support can come from anywhere, but sometimes in the midst of our grief, it may be difficult to ask for the support we need, or we may be unable to accept help when it is offered. Isolation from friends and family can intensify the pain. Refer to
An Act of Courage for information on grief support programs.

Go to next pagePanic, Insomnia and Nightmares 

April 2019


Why can’t I find a page or link that used to be here?

Over the last eleven years, The Grieving Heart® meandered into many topics and lost its purpose. I have deleted 40 pages to bring it back to the original focus of grief and helping grievers.

Web addresses come and go and I cannot guarantee the accuracy, safety or longevity of third-party (external) sites. Adding links by request, or finding and fixing broken links are massive time consumers, so I have deleted many outside sources and will limit additions in the future. The external links that remain are checked on a regular basis and related to grief, helping grievers and pet loss. 

I will continue to honor and remember veterans and fallen soldiers because it is the least I can do for those who have given so much.

I hope that my renewed attention to grief information will make The Grieving Heart® a better experience and comfort for you. Thank you for visiting. CJ



 My E-mail:

Christine at The Grieving Heart dot info 

A Word About E-mail: One way to decrease SPAM caused by Internet bots is to deactivate the live address link. You can still contact me by typing this address into your own e-mail program using @, a period, and no spaces, the standard e-mail format. Thank you.

Note to Visitors:
I read and respond to grief email at the end of each month when I update this site. If you need a more timely response, please visit a well moderated grief healing discussion group. It is free to use and requires registration to participate. I am not part of this group, but certified grief counselors are there to help, support and comfort grievers and those who love them. Because the counselors lost funding for the site, they are grateful for voluntary donations.
Why no links to Facebook and other social media? Click here for the answer.   


How complicated and individual mending is,
the time required for healing
cannot be measured against any fixed calendar
Mary Jane Moffat
© Copyright 2008 - 2019 Christine Jette.
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